hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
