pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
