Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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