I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
