Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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