The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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