i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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