Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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