After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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