just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
