So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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