I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
