so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
