I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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