I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
