I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well I just put wine in my tea
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
