I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
