first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
