you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
