So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
