yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
