i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
