Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
