I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My bed smells like the plague
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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