She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
