Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
