someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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