I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
