So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
