fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
