we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
