Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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