hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
