The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
