Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
