Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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