I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
