PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I puked a lego.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
