I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
