Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
