Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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