The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
