so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
