She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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