God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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