So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
