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Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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