Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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