1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
