Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
