New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
