I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize