I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
