I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
