Whatcha textin bout Willis?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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