Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
