The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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