PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
