Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i think my mom watched the whole time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
