I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
