I wannas sexs uuuuu
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize