i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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