the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize